Since domestic violence is a crime, one way to get help is to call the police. If you have been abused by your partner or are afraid for your safety, your first response needs to be to protect yourself and your children. You can also call your local Battered Women’s Shelter, community crisis line, or community mental health agency . Most communities have offender treatment, victim support services, and access to a shelter for you and your children.

If the violence has not escalated to the point that you are fearful, but you want to prevent destructive arguing from destroying your marriage or escalating to violence, there are a variety of options available to you. Most communities have anger management or men’s treatment programs that can be found through mental health services. These programs provide skills to resolve conflict and handle anger without letting it escalate. Support groups for victims can also help you maintain a commitment to living in a nonviolent household.

If you decide to leave a violent relationship, a marriage and family therapist can help you and your children deal with the changes in your lives and with the trauma you have each experienced. A therapist can also help you access strengths and coping skills to move forward.

If someone you care discloses to you that they are in a violent relationship, let them know you care for them regardless of their decision to stay or leave their partner. Women stay in violent relationships for many reasons, including the mistaken belief that they cannot make it on their own. Many battered women feel isolated and have no one to talk to with about the violence they are experiencing. Ask gently about any injuries or emotional upset you observe and listen without passing judgment. Find out about resources for battered women in your community. If your friend decides to go for help, you may need to accompany her. Although it may take many tries, most women eventually leave violent situations through the ongoing support of caring friends, family members and professionals.